First graders are cray CRAY. In the best possible way. But who else would jump on eachother's backs at lunch, compare pencil length for 5 minutes before getting started on their work, or hide in corners to share hot cheetos and takis and then tell the assistant principal they didn't eat them even though they had fiery powder all over their fingers?
Oh, my students. I was feeling exhausted Friday and didn't take the time to celebrate their successes. Like, how they're already working for 13 minutes at a time quietly and independently. My classroom is much much quieter than it has ever been. We created rules this week: Be kind, be safe, work hard, and have fun. G asked me when we were signing our rules if he had to sign because he didn't agree with working hard. Oh, dear. "Yes, you still need to sign it, because we're going to learn how to work hard to go to college." "Okay, Ms. Estrada."
I have a couple students with severe social and emotional needs (not as much as in the past), but I'm super excited for Seneca to start working with those muffins to get them what they need. At this point, I'm not sure exactly what will work for them (wandering around the room, sleeping constantly, defiance, etc.) I know my interactions with them cannot be overly stern or emotion-ridden, yet I'm trying to figure out how to communicate strict boundaries for them.
We have our first long day on Monday--8 to 2:45. I'm a little nervous about what that's going to look like. I know my students will get tired, and we'll need lots of energizers and breaks, and I'll need to keep my frustrating at their five-year-old-ness in check. Ready for a weekend of resting, Catan, and baby showers!
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Hello, Year 3.
This mantra has been running through my head the past two weeks: "I just want to be a good teacher." I want to be firm but loving, understanding, compassionate, and strict. I strive to be better than years before, more organized, make stronger relationships with families, speak fluently and easily in Spanish with the parents, learn Mien so I can communicate with cutie C's mom, and shower my two toughest behavior issues with unconditional love and support. I aim to differentiate, conference, and interactively model my face off. I've read the Responsive Classroom guidebook at least 4 times cover to cover, and still I look for more games and energizers to fill these beginning of year first graders with positive experiences at school.
But I yelled today. I pulled out my ultra-stern "ExCUSE ME" in the hallway with two classes. I saw the looks that passed over kids' faces. "Oooh, Ms. Estrada YELLS," they seemed to say. There was that disappointed but also shocked look that emerged, and then fixing their line immediately. It's been one week and one day, people. I was tired and cranky and tired of positive reinforcing up-the-wazoo how to stand in a straight line. Tomorrow, I will remember to be gentle and to positively reinforce while also being firm with children who are acting cray cray at the back of the line, turning circles, playing tag, etc. I WILL smile throughout the day, and I will be gentle but firm in my reminders to stop TALKING WHILE I'M TEACHING OR OTHERS ARE TALKING. YEESH. I will be patient, I will be patient, I will be patient.
What I really want to do is craft with them all day. Learn how to talk to one another. Play games. Cook food. Plant a garden. Make mistakes and learn from them, without the pressures of finishing this or that assessment on time, taking away recess time, or walking in a perfect silent line. But on the other hand, our children and all children DESERVE literacy. So I will assess, I will look at data, I will meet with my guided reading groups and stress over scores and DRA until the words "Close the book and tell me about the story" show up in bold print in my dreams. I will kiss their owies, sprinkle quiet dust and pretend wake up dust on their heads, open up wrapped class books as rewards for kindness, and sing everyone's names and redirections to bring something new to this classroom and education. I have already fallen in love with my class, but feel like I'm doing them somehow wrong by being so picky, so irritable, so HUMAN.
I want to be like Ms. Honey or the seemingly flawless authors of teacher blogs who have time to do Art everyday, utilize best practices, AND make money by posting lessons. I will continue to misstep, like my students, and can only hope to do right by them. I know there will be days where I question once again what I'm doing here-- why did I ever think I could do this? And then there will be days when I walk into the room and can't imagine doing anything else...and I will survive, and they will survive, and we'll learn together how to make this work.
Hello, Year 3.
But I yelled today. I pulled out my ultra-stern "ExCUSE ME" in the hallway with two classes. I saw the looks that passed over kids' faces. "Oooh, Ms. Estrada YELLS," they seemed to say. There was that disappointed but also shocked look that emerged, and then fixing their line immediately. It's been one week and one day, people. I was tired and cranky and tired of positive reinforcing up-the-wazoo how to stand in a straight line. Tomorrow, I will remember to be gentle and to positively reinforce while also being firm with children who are acting cray cray at the back of the line, turning circles, playing tag, etc. I WILL smile throughout the day, and I will be gentle but firm in my reminders to stop TALKING WHILE I'M TEACHING OR OTHERS ARE TALKING. YEESH. I will be patient, I will be patient, I will be patient.
What I really want to do is craft with them all day. Learn how to talk to one another. Play games. Cook food. Plant a garden. Make mistakes and learn from them, without the pressures of finishing this or that assessment on time, taking away recess time, or walking in a perfect silent line. But on the other hand, our children and all children DESERVE literacy. So I will assess, I will look at data, I will meet with my guided reading groups and stress over scores and DRA until the words "Close the book and tell me about the story" show up in bold print in my dreams. I will kiss their owies, sprinkle quiet dust and pretend wake up dust on their heads, open up wrapped class books as rewards for kindness, and sing everyone's names and redirections to bring something new to this classroom and education. I have already fallen in love with my class, but feel like I'm doing them somehow wrong by being so picky, so irritable, so HUMAN.
I want to be like Ms. Honey or the seemingly flawless authors of teacher blogs who have time to do Art everyday, utilize best practices, AND make money by posting lessons. I will continue to misstep, like my students, and can only hope to do right by them. I know there will be days where I question once again what I'm doing here-- why did I ever think I could do this? And then there will be days when I walk into the room and can't imagine doing anything else...and I will survive, and they will survive, and we'll learn together how to make this work.
Hello, Year 3.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
We stand on the shoulders of those who came before us...
It is this time of year that I, like many others I'm sure, am reminded of why I teach. The summer months are spent relaxing, being thoughtful and purposeful about the school year to come, and letting go of the remnants of what may have been or the moments gone wrong from last year. Little by little, I feel more rejuvenated and ready to start my year, especially now that we have begun PD and my mind has shifted from wondering what day of the week it is (okay, not really, since I was still teaching summer school) to meeting the fantastic new staff members at our school, lamenting the absence of those who had such a profound effect on our community, all while trying to carry on the vision of our unique little charter-hybrid-district school in the heart of East Oakland.
For the last few weeks I have been in and out of my classroom, laminating and cutting, paying attention to tiny nuances and making sure the environment is cheery yet calming, color-coordinated, and appealing to first graders. I have scoured pinterest, in awe of uber-organized spaces, taking ideas that seem do-able, and attempting to create a more functional and appealing space for my students. But today I am reminded of big-picture, beyond the details, of why I'm here, and what it means to be at a teacher at this time in Oakland, California. Specifically, in the flatlands of Oakland. I think of the sentiment of so many who give me a disgruntled look when I say I work in Oakland. "You work THERE?! I wouldn't even DRIVE there!" I think of the students who have been so historically under-served and essentially forgotten. I am reminded of a deeper purpose that is sometimes hard to come back to on days when students are hiding under desks or refusing to listen because they haven't had enough sleep or enough to eat (and yes, often because they are six years old). Being reminded of this purpose, thinking of the immense struggle of schools and education in this city, and of the inequities that exist between the flatlands and the hills schools was emotional and intense. I spent the nearly the whole day swallowing the ball in my throat, feeling overwhelmed by how vast the troubles with education are in this country, and overcome by the incredible changes the families in our community have been in proactively creating the school I am honored and privileged to work at.
It is a large undertaking to continue on a school that was birthed by some who have moved on...and to make sure its vision is kept up, all while moving into a new version of something special..and not sure exactly what that will end up looking like. I once thought teachers were miracle-makers, life-savers... not to underestimate what we do, but it takes a village and it takes a functional district/charter/administration and a cohesive team and support to even begin to make change. I took all these things for granted growing up in a middle-class, suburban neighborhood with a public school with veteran teachers and a near-perfect "grade" on greatschools. I am able to teach because of the purposeful choices my parents made, the unearned privilege on my part by speaking English and being born where I was...the privilege of literacy that every single child DESERVES and NEEDS. I once wanted to teach simply because I loved children...the reasons I teach are so much more complicated than simply that. (Of course that is the heart of this profession...the desire to work and inspire youth, but with that so many things including and not limited to combating racism, sexism, homophobia, genderism, and inspiring lifelong learning to lead successful, happy, DESERVED lives). WHEW. Thinking about it all is so exhausting and I'm getting overwhelmed...
So, I will end with the details..the progress of my classroom thus far. It's all very bare-bones still, I'm playing with the layout of the table groups...but this is what I've got.
More photos of guided reading table and bulletin boards to come.
I'll leave you with the words of our vision statement...
We stand on the shoulders
of those who came before us
as we grow into leaders
who are passionate and care
about making our world better.
We are equipped with skills and knowledge;
filled with curiosity,
and we know that even when
we face challenges,
WE WILL ACHIEVE.
For the last few weeks I have been in and out of my classroom, laminating and cutting, paying attention to tiny nuances and making sure the environment is cheery yet calming, color-coordinated, and appealing to first graders. I have scoured pinterest, in awe of uber-organized spaces, taking ideas that seem do-able, and attempting to create a more functional and appealing space for my students. But today I am reminded of big-picture, beyond the details, of why I'm here, and what it means to be at a teacher at this time in Oakland, California. Specifically, in the flatlands of Oakland. I think of the sentiment of so many who give me a disgruntled look when I say I work in Oakland. "You work THERE?! I wouldn't even DRIVE there!" I think of the students who have been so historically under-served and essentially forgotten. I am reminded of a deeper purpose that is sometimes hard to come back to on days when students are hiding under desks or refusing to listen because they haven't had enough sleep or enough to eat (and yes, often because they are six years old). Being reminded of this purpose, thinking of the immense struggle of schools and education in this city, and of the inequities that exist between the flatlands and the hills schools was emotional and intense. I spent the nearly the whole day swallowing the ball in my throat, feeling overwhelmed by how vast the troubles with education are in this country, and overcome by the incredible changes the families in our community have been in proactively creating the school I am honored and privileged to work at.
It is a large undertaking to continue on a school that was birthed by some who have moved on...and to make sure its vision is kept up, all while moving into a new version of something special..and not sure exactly what that will end up looking like. I once thought teachers were miracle-makers, life-savers... not to underestimate what we do, but it takes a village and it takes a functional district/charter/administration and a cohesive team and support to even begin to make change. I took all these things for granted growing up in a middle-class, suburban neighborhood with a public school with veteran teachers and a near-perfect "grade" on greatschools. I am able to teach because of the purposeful choices my parents made, the unearned privilege on my part by speaking English and being born where I was...the privilege of literacy that every single child DESERVES and NEEDS. I once wanted to teach simply because I loved children...the reasons I teach are so much more complicated than simply that. (Of course that is the heart of this profession...the desire to work and inspire youth, but with that so many things including and not limited to combating racism, sexism, homophobia, genderism, and inspiring lifelong learning to lead successful, happy, DESERVED lives). WHEW. Thinking about it all is so exhausting and I'm getting overwhelmed...
So, I will end with the details..the progress of my classroom thus far. It's all very bare-bones still, I'm playing with the layout of the table groups...but this is what I've got.
I'll leave you with the words of our vision statement...
We stand on the shoulders
of those who came before us
as we grow into leaders
who are passionate and care
about making our world better.
We are equipped with skills and knowledge;
filled with curiosity,
and we know that even when
we face challenges,
WE WILL ACHIEVE.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
We're halfway there.
Tomorrow marks the halfway point of summer school. I have the dream setting.. I get to do Guided Reading and small group work for three hours a day. I'm done by noon and come home and usually clean, take a nap, and run. I've been (mostly) enjoying my time at this lovely charter school in Oakland, but it's been a bit of a struggle getting to know the culture of the school and the kids. Meeting with them 15-20 minutes every other day makes it hard to establish a solid relationship and clear expectations. We are getting there, but I have this sense of urgency to move these children... but feeling like there's not enough space to go slow to go fast. Regardless, it's been fantastic to do Guided Reading all day every day and make activities and spread the joy of reading. (The Guided Reading Planning Sheet is by Deanna Jump.)
Thanks to Kelly at First Grade Fairytales for the blog award. That was unexpected and exciting. :)
- I usually drink 2 gallons of milk a week...by myself.
- I've broken my nose twice during stunting in cheerleading in high school (I cheered for 11 years or something absurd..including a year in college...and am often leary to tell people this)
- I conduct nearly all of my parent conferences in Spanish. I'm not quite fluent, but close. (My school is composed of mostly Spanish speaking families.)
- I love the word noob and am often found doing "noobie" things...locking myself out of my apartment or my car, forgetting to turn off the oven, leaving things to the last minute, etc. etc. David (my fiance) and I have locked ourselves out of our apartment at least four times since we moved in (6 months ago).
- I identify myself as mixed racially (my mom is white and my dad is Mexican), but have reaped the benefits of white privilege because I am phenotypically Italian looking. I am constantly aware of the whiteness I bring to a school where none of the children are white, and am very conscious of the power I could potentially impose and the stereotypes or biases I hold that could be poisonous to my students...and work incredibly hard to be aware of them, analyze them, and move away from them.
- My favorite beer is Boont Amber, brewed in beautiful Mendocino county.
- I just did The Color Run 5k this past weekend with one of my colleagues in San Francisco. It was so incredibly invigorating and HAPPY. I think I'm still on a high from it.
Monday, July 9, 2012
One year ago...
David and I played a game last night where we tried to figure out where we were exactly one year ago, at that very moment (11:29 PM). We were in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on our Midwest road trip, in our tent near Tahquamenon Falls, about to get eaten by mosquitoes.
This is where we would have been on this day, July 9th, one year ago. Missing that glorious trip, but enjoying the summer very much. We've been spending our days watching New Girl, I've been doing lots of Guided Reading at the school I'm teaching at for the summer, and just got back from camping with some friends. So far we've floated down the American River, drunk lots of beer, waded in a lake with tiny leeches, and celebrated family birthdays galore.
Looking forward to heading to San Luis Obispo next weekend for a girls' trip with my Meshell, running a 5k in San Francisco on Saturday called the Color Run, and then heading to Atlanta at the end of the month. Whew. More teachery stuff to come after July 15th, when my class will be waxed and ready for me to start setting up for the year. Wondering if anyone might be willing to look at some pictures of my empty (ish) classroom and help me to decide how to re-decorate and move things around? I'm wanting to change things up.
And now, time for New Girl.
Looking forward to heading to San Luis Obispo next weekend for a girls' trip with my Meshell, running a 5k in San Francisco on Saturday called the Color Run, and then heading to Atlanta at the end of the month. Whew. More teachery stuff to come after July 15th, when my class will be waxed and ready for me to start setting up for the year. Wondering if anyone might be willing to look at some pictures of my empty (ish) classroom and help me to decide how to re-decorate and move things around? I'm wanting to change things up.
And now, time for New Girl.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
SUMMERRRR
It's SUMMER! I don't have the same joyous, carefree feeling I had last year, though, because I will be working. I got a job at a charter school in West Oakland (which I'm very excited about!) that starts after all the PD we have this week. I will mostly be doing Guided Reading and Workstations/Reader's Workshop, which is very exciting. I loved the Literacy Block in my classroom and I'm looking forward to doing that for three hours every day! My demo lesson was a little shaky--the school is in its first year of existence and they are still working out the kinks of supports, etc, and the students were ALL over the place. Hoping to do extensive modeling and training for them this summer--I'm confident the students will rise to the challenge!!
Plans for this summer? Training for and running a 5k (I'm no runner...but very excited for the challenge...hoping to eventually run a half-marathon), drinking lots of coffee at the new cafe down the street, reading a few teachery books (Guided Math, Reading With Meaning, and Spaces and Places), enveloping myself in the world of Murakami (currently reading 1Q84, deciding what to read next), teaching 3 hours a day, tutoring some lovely children, and beginning to plan our wedding! Just thinking about it is making me feel more excited. Now, onto my second day of summer...
Plans for this summer? Training for and running a 5k (I'm no runner...but very excited for the challenge...hoping to eventually run a half-marathon), drinking lots of coffee at the new cafe down the street, reading a few teachery books (Guided Math, Reading With Meaning, and Spaces and Places), enveloping myself in the world of Murakami (currently reading 1Q84, deciding what to read next), teaching 3 hours a day, tutoring some lovely children, and beginning to plan our wedding! Just thinking about it is making me feel more excited. Now, onto my second day of summer...
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
"Ms. Estrada, you're getting married?! EWWWW"
Well. Life has been exciting. And is exciting. And will be exciting. School has been busy, busy, busy. We have one week and two days to go. My students are antsy, I'm antsy, we're trying to hold it all together, and all I really want to do is...jump up and down or lay on the floor or play silly games because....
I am engaged! My students pretty much lost it when they found out my "friend" Mr. David was actually my boyfriend David who is now my FIANCEE David. When I asked them if they thought I was old enough to get married, they vehemently shook their heads and cried "Noooo!" AC replied "Ms. Estrada, that's weird." Well, okay. A lot of parents in conferences have been asking me about it. It has been a stomach-stirring, frantic, wonderful few days and I really couldn't be happier.
Conferences have been going well-- I cried in AC's today. She's made so much progress, is so hilarious, and is just so endearing to me. I will miss these students dearly and as I was speaking about her to her parents today, I got misty.
Now back to my ever-growing to-do list before the end of this year.
I am engaged! My students pretty much lost it when they found out my "friend" Mr. David was actually my boyfriend David who is now my FIANCEE David. When I asked them if they thought I was old enough to get married, they vehemently shook their heads and cried "Noooo!" AC replied "Ms. Estrada, that's weird." Well, okay. A lot of parents in conferences have been asking me about it. It has been a stomach-stirring, frantic, wonderful few days and I really couldn't be happier.
Conferences have been going well-- I cried in AC's today. She's made so much progress, is so hilarious, and is just so endearing to me. I will miss these students dearly and as I was speaking about her to her parents today, I got misty.
Now back to my ever-growing to-do list before the end of this year.
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